Our precious son Rocky-Lee was stillborn in May 2013 after finding out that his heart had stopped.
We had experienced what we thought was a pretty normal pregnancy, it was our first so we had nothing to compare it to. All blood tests and scans had been normal. Nobody at any stage had any concerns for us and we never thought about this outcome. Nobody had ever even mentioned that this could be a possibility.
I was stunned to discover in the weeks after his birth that there are on average 11 stillbirths every day in the UK alone. 11 Families that have to go through this nightmare. I wonder with statistics this daunting why as mothers we are not made more aware; nobody during their pregnancy wants to be scared but a little knowledge could go a long way.
The ironic thing is that I was entitled to my full maternity leave; I didn’t want this time to go to waste so alot of it was spent starting the Charity.
After suffering this tragedy I immediately wanted to change the world. I wanted to change everything at once. The lack of knowledge, the lack of education, the lack of services (in our small town area), but changing the world at once is obviously impossible and I didn’t want to be battling with the government for years and not making a change that was tangiable we want to make a “real” difference to families.
It saddens us visiting Rocky in our local churchyard seeing the other babies and children without headstones. We realised when we went to organise Rocky’s that the cost could be a big implication.
Many families like us will have spent most of their money in the last few months decorating nurseries, buying prams and all the other necessities. You never think that you will be needing to put money to one side for coffins and memorial headstones.
There is help with funeral costs, cremation, and burial costs, but nothing for headstones or plaques; almost as if they aren’t a necessity.
We truly believe this is the last practical thing that we get to do for our angel children and I don’t know how I would feel if I had to leave Rocky without anything to say that “he was here” that “he existed” and “he is loved”. I want people to walk past him and to know how important he is to our family. To not be able to do that would be unthinkable; and so that is what we decided we want Rocky-Lee’s legacy to be – to give other families the chance of expressing just how important their baby is to them.
Since setting up we now supply memory bears to Hereford Hospital with Aching Arms UK and now in 2016 we are set up to provide equipment, services and support to Hereford Hospitals Labour Ward for their bereaved families.
Poems and Quotes
The Little Snowdrop
When a baby is born, it’s a mothers instinct to protect her baby. When a baby dies, it’s the mothers instinct to protect their memory
Precious Little One
Precious, tiny, little one
You will always be to me
So perfect, pure, and innocent
Just as you were meant to be.
We dreamed of you and your life
And all that it would be.
We waited and longed for you to come
And join our family.
We never had the chance to play,
To laugh, to rock, to wiggle.
We long to hold you, touch you now,
And listen to you giggle.
I’ll always be your mother
He’ll always be your dad.
You will always be our child,
The child that we had.
But now you’re gone…but yet you’re here
We sense you everywhere.
You are our sorrow and our joy,
There’s love in every tear.
Just know our love goes deep and strong,
We’ll forget you never—
The child we had, but never had,
And yet, will have forever.